I miss him so much ! :(

We almost broke up.

Reason? Because he's scared tht he will be the reason i dont do well in SPM.

He wants me to do well it seems.

Appa called him and asked.

He told appa tht im making too much calls and i don't study enough.

All the blame on me. Thanks.

I'll never forget the words you used on me.

Hurting as hell. 

But, i can't be left like tht.

So , yeahh.

We'll give another shot.

I hope it turns out well.

Because i do love you. And i wanna be with you forever.

haishhhh.

You make it so hard for me.

So much of tears. Eyes swollen.

Not enough sleep.

I WON'T FORGET !

But i'll still love you with all my heart. i always will.

Just because ,

Dharshnee

Tearing apart :'(

Not stable.Breaking into pieces.

Stupid things happening.

I needed space and love.

I'm going crazy.

I love you so much. 

It's just at this point of time , i need more attention and love.

My heart is so weak right now.

Honestly , i can die right now.

You promised me. You promised me you won't leave me !

you're always breaking your promises.

You're happy i'm tearing apart?

You broke me.

You're killing me.

Dying.

Tears all the way.

Crying every night.

So weak.

Depressed.

I never wanted this.

YOU DON'T LOVE ME !

I can't think straight.

I can't live this way.

Pressure and you , both killing me.

Biee , i die ah?

You'll be fine.

I don't want you to leave me.

You told me the minute you put tht chain on me , i became your wife right?

I'll die in the thought of you as my husband.

So that , when i die , you'll be on my mind.

And i'll never feel the pain.

Naa poren biee. 

I cannot.

I took everything. Ithu maatum enaaleh digest panne mudileh.

All those sweet memories , i'll take with me okay?

You forget everything.

Bye bieee.

I love you teddy bear , i always will ! ♥

You take your heart back , you need it. 

Keep my heart.

I love youuu. 

Going off , 

Dharshnee

Sean Mavin Lourdes :')

It's almost 8 months we're together. 

Never though we'll make it this far.

Honestly , i didn't think we'll even pass 4 months.

But we made it this far :)

We'll make it further ^.^

Bieeee , i never thought you were a responsible person or whatsoever.

But you proved it yesterday :)

You talked to my mum.

And you told her that at some point of time you'll have to bring me to your parents

And tht you want to bring me as the perfect girl for you.

I was SPEECHLESS !

You made me sure , tht you're the one.

I love you babyyy ! ♥

Btw , we were skyping yesterdayyy.

Alalalala , you sho cute ! :D

I cut my hair ! :(

And ,

You had to make me blush la ! :p

I still remember the words :

"Babyy , cute la you with tht hair cut. So pretty. I love you taww. See tht smile , damn cute !"

Heeeeeeeeeeeeee. 

AIyoo. Dunno where to keep my face ! :p

HAHA.

I love you biee , i always will :)

Just because , 

Dharshnee

My lil' bro :)

6 years younger than me , and still doesn't learn to respect me =.='

And jyeahhh , i still pyaar him ! :D

He ish my shayangggggg :'D

He never fails to put a smile on my face.

Always cracking stupid jokes , to make me laugh :")

Stupid la he.

He's always the one to jadi mangsa , bila I get angry or whatsoever :p

Lalalalala.

No matter what , he'll always be my shayanggg lil'bro tht i love till the end ! :'D

I LOVE YOU BUROHHH ! ♥

Love , 

Dharshnee

Us :')

My love of my life , 

The one I'm going to spend my whole life with ,

the yeediott who makes me feel like who i am ,

My sayang ,

My baby syg ;),

The one who never fails to put a smile on my face :')

Just because , 

Dharshnee

# 28/5/2013

Babyyyy , i lovee youuu so much. From the bwottom of my hweartttt ! ♥

Yesterdayyy was sweet. 

Seeing you after 2 months was a big relief.

You saw me coming , you hugged me , and you kissed my forehead ♥

That was effing sweet.

You're the reason of my smile ! :) 

Todayy , a day spent well with the love of my life ! :)

Just because ,

Dharshnee 

Upsetting.

I'm a girl , and yes , i am darnn sensitive.

Little things you do , does affect me. 

That's me la.

Although you're her , back home , i still feel lonely.

I always feel that way. ALWAYS

But , you don't bother at all.

Sometimes , i feel stupid.

Stupid , for loving you hell much.

Stupid for knowing you don't care about me.

Stupid for not being appreciated.

Everything i do now , only because i love you.

Tearing is what i do all the time.

Fuck , i still don't get it.

Why do you do this?

I mean like , i'm there only when you need me.

Do you know how much that hurts?

Fuck , it hurts like mad !

But , who cares right?

In the end , for you , it's not you. It's just me.

Well , as i guessed , you blamed me again.

You always think , all i want is for you to hang on the phone with me 24/7.

And I don't understand you.

That's all you know?

I took so much for you. I still am.
It hurts so bad ! But , i'll take in as much as i can.

I hope , you realise things soon.

Fucked up ,

Dharshnee

Shishaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Hookah-ing was hell of fun.

Released stress somehow. Lol.

The best part was it was with my soul sister. 

She's the most awesome company anyone can have. 

Credit to youu for the photographs :D

I love you diiii ! Mwahh :*

Fucked up , 

Dharshnee :P

Kishan :'(

Kishan , a very good guy. He's always a happening person.

So happy-go-lucky. Always teasing me.

He has the most loudest + deepest laugh ever. 

Unfortunate of him. A terrible incident happened :'(

His dad passed away :'( 

Sunday. 3.30am. Federal highway :'(

He was a really good man.

He died for no reason.

He got down to help the victims on the road. And then , he gets hit by a motorbike :'(

Seriouslyy laa.

How can he just die like that?

How could he just leave his family behind just like that?

How could he die when he was about to help someone?

How could he let his son go through so much of pain?

How could God just take him away just like that?

He is so young.

He's only 50 years old :'(

His family needs him./

His son is doing Spm this year.

Things happen. As many says , everything happens for a reason.

Certain things just can't be explained.

For now , everyone just has to appreciate everything they have right now.

For now , we can only pray for uncle and his family.

R.I.P uncle.

You will live in our hearts forever :'(

Link of the news , of the freak accident :'(

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2013/4/21/nation/20130421111458&sec=nation

Full of sorrow , 

Dharshnee

Misunderstanding

You're just you and you will never change.

Stupid things you do , don't expect me to be proud of you.

You gave me your password and fb id for  me to go into it.

I accidently looked.

now i know what the 'boy stuff' means

Whoaaa ! You want me to be okay with you?

you love to play right? You love to joke around right?

Why dont you hear this.

I will 'play play or 'joke around' saying that i hate you and i think that you are so useless , and you never did anything for me and other hurting stuff to you. Now , how do you feel?

Not so nice anymore , isn't it?

You know what? Imma tell everything here.

You never actually missed me or loved me.

I don't think you do.

Everytime , you're busy.

You need to spend time with your cousins.

Yo need to sleep.

You don't have credit.

You don't have money to buy topup.

I HAVE to understand your situation.

But , you  DON'T have to understand me.

Right?

Do you know how much I go through for you?

I don't know when to call you.

I miss you.

i get scolding because i spend too much time talking to you.

I never fail to call you everdyday.

I've done so much.

I've shed so much of tears.

I always make time to come meet you.

SO many quarrels.

You never appreciated anything.

Nope.

Why?

Because , you're just a guy , and you'll never understand.

Broken,

Dharshnee

17th Birthday :)

17th birthday , something that i have NOT been looking forward to

It was not in my mind to celebrate it anyways.

i didn't actually felt it was a great thing -.-

Ahh , scratch it off laa.

Well , it was more than i expected it to be , the day.

Full of akwardness too :P

At 12 , mum and dad brought in the cake ^.*

They were so sweet laa.

As usual , they were the first ones to wish me :)

Later , friends called , got text.

LOTS and LOTS of posts on fb :) 

All the post meant alott to me.

Some of them were like really sweet. Extremely sweet ! :)

Theyyy made my day :)

Sean wished me in the morning. In fb.

It's okayy laa. I didn't expect much.

I knew what'd i get anyway.

It was a sweet post laa. 

I dont mind :)

He's just a guy , he'll never understand me :)

You know what i always do.

Hide everything in and keep that huge smile on my face :)

Later , i went to tution.

#Mr.Ramesh Class #Add Maths

Kishaan , Prem and a few others wished me.

Saru came , she wished me :)

She was then outside talking to sir.

I guessed tht she was telling him about my birthdayy :P

True enough she did.

In the middle of the class , she wrote on a piece of letter and passed it to sir.

OHGODD  !

He was like " Ahh , yeaa , i remember , i remember ! :) "

I turned and stared at her.

She was like " No la deyhh , noo."

But i kneww anyways.

Stupid. 

Damnn embarassing sehh ! >.<

Then i felt cold , cause i was like sitting directly under the air-cond.

I told sir that it's very cold , and asked him whether he could increase the temperature.

He was like "Sure ma , sure. Anything for you today ! :)"

At that point i was fucking sure she told him.

Goddd.

But sir was SOOOO sweeet laaa. Ohhmaiigoddd ^_^

Then the two amazing monkeys of mine told sir LOUDLY it was my birthday !

Haiyooo.

Then sir was like , "Yeaandaa? Teriyum daa. Athu kuleh. Cheh."

Bhahahaha :P

Then , he asked the whole class to sing to me.

The whole class sang :P

Embarassing dohh ! :P

Kay kayy.

Haha , enough with that.

Parents bought me a tab for my birthdayy.

So happy ! :)

Cool :)

Conclusion , 17th Birthday was awesome. Didn't expect it to turn out this way :)

Sincerely , 

Dharshnee

4th Monthsary :')

  18.03.2013  

To my baby who means so much to me .

Here's to every fight , small arguments , screamings , debates , warnings , sweet talks , kisses on the forehead , kisses , hugs , etc...

I want you to know that you light up my life like nobody else.

You mean more than the world to me.

I know I'm an annoying brat at times. 

Im sorry for all all of that.

But you still manage to make me feel the way i always want to. Loved :)

No words can express the love i have for you. 
I'm your pondathy , and you're my hubbyyy :)
As you always say , when you put your chain for me , i'm your wife already :')

Happy 4th Monthsary , bieeeeeee. 
This 4 months were sweet and wonderful in everyway.

Hope we have more monthsaries and anniversaries yet to come.

I love you teddy bear , i always will.

Just because , 

Dharshnee

Missing you..

 No matter how much we fight , i hope you know that   i love you so much.

i know i have been such an ass for this past week.

It's just that i miss you so badly.

Everyday .. i'm going through hell. Every moment .. where you're not around to give me a hug , a kiss on the forehead

I miss you

Every single second of the day i think of you. You're always on my mind. Wondering if you're okay , have you eaten , what you're doing.

The distance is killing me.

Knowing that you're far away .. makes me miss you more.

All i ever want is to talk with you for at least 5 mins .. and you talking nicelyy .. sweetly with me like you usually do when you're back home.

I don't get that anymore :'( 

  I miss that.  

I'm sorry for how i was the past few days.

I love you baby.

You tied my heart to yours ♥

I love you teddy bear , i always will :')

Just because , 

Dharshnee

Youu , just you..

In every girl's life , 

there is this one person who will make tht girl feel like she always wanted.

Every girl has this dream. a dream of her boyfriend .. her other half .. her soulmate .. her future husband

i got what i dreamt :)

 This might sound stupid , but i wanted a guy who drinks , smokes and to be very hot-tempered !

Well , i got what i wanted. i also wanted him to change because of me , i wanted him to change for me. 

I got that too :)

I dreamt alot of things.
Alot of things like , kisses on my forehead , walking me back home , getting to know my family , being liked by my family , holding my hands when we walk , hugging me from the back , saying sweet things , being able to promise i'll be with him till the end , saying that our babyy will have eyes like mine (*sweetness*)
I got all that , i got all i wanted , he does and says all these things :')

At this moment i'm the happiest person in the world ! :')

i want this person to be with me till forever .. till my last breath.

And i know it'll happen.

He's never gonna let me go , im sure of it :)

Some people just gotta wait .. for the right person..

I waited .. eventually .. i got mine.

He's a real sweetheart.. but he can be an annoying brat at times. 

As i said earlier , he's only a guy .. he'll never understand..

A guy with the most amazing eyes , i love youuuu.

You tied my heart to yours.. And it will remain till forever..

I promise.. :)

i love you teddy bear , i always will <3

Just because ,

Dharshnee

Happy ^_^

Im happy now :) 

I changed you. You don't the way you always do. You changed ! OMAIIGODDD !

You make me so happy right now :) 

Like you said ,, after SPM is over ,, im coming to your house.

You said the doors are open anytime after my SPM :)

You told me you can keep me happy :)

I trust you.

I know how much you love me. I know.

Im sorry for what i did. If i hadn't blurted it out , then you wouldn't have realised things.

I got what i wanted. You changed for me.

I love youuuuuuu bieee 

I feel like im flying through heaven.

You are helping to cure the wounds in my heart. Guess what? Its getting better :)

You sweet little teddy bear. The post was so sweet too.

I miss you.

I can't wait to see you. 

It'll be three weeks by then , or maybe more :(

I lovee you teddy bearr , i always will :)

Just because ,

Dharshnee

Better :)

OMAIIIGODDD !

Big fight?

That's nice :)

blurted everything out. It wasn't a sweet thing to do but i had to.

No point keeping everything inside right?

So , i think i did the right thing then.

You told me i changed and you missed me? I guessed you realise how i felt.

Whoaaa ! That's great.

Well , what happened last night was terrible but sweet at the same time :')

I cried , you cired.

i shouted , you shouted.

I blamed you , you blamed me.

You appologised.

Everything's okay now.

I like everything you said after the fight was over.

You told me after exams i'm coming with you, you told me , you'l keep me happy.

That's so sweet.

You told me how much you love me.

You told me you don't wanna lose me :).

Coool :) I guess were gonna be okay.

i love you teddy bear , i always will :)

Just because ,

Dharshnee

Anger? Disappointment?

I am angry and disappointed , both at the same time .

Things you say hurts . it's not like i want you to be perfect . 

a girl can only take so much.

All she can do is just give you that love you want.

She can't be strong as you. She needs you by her side all the time. through shine or pour.

She needs you !

I need you to realise things. You keep telling me to think before you talk . 

but how come you don't practice it?

little things you say can just pierce through your soul , get that into your thick skull !

My love for you will never end. That i promise , but you have to play your part too.

i need you biee.

i need you by my side , being there for me when i need you.

i dont want your sharp words.

If i dont advice or tell you stuff , then that would be like im no one to you.

Why should i bother giving the care and love for you if i am a nobody to you? 

Think biee , think. 

You have to.

If you want this relationship to go on , like you always wanted , then you should think.

i love you teddy bear , i always will :)

Just because , 

Dharshnee

Confusion much?

Im so confused.

It's been 3 months , i used to think everything was just perfect.

Now , i keep thinking a thousand times before actually agreeing to the statement.

No more sweet talks. No more "pujuk-ing's"

Nothing :(

I don't want to hang on the phone 24/7 with you.
All i ever want is to talk with me like you always do.

But you just don't understand , don't you?

You put the blame on me saying that i dont understand you. Wow ! 

Good job !

You told me , your cousin sisters are more important to you than me.

That's fine. I don't mind. I never said that i needed to be number one in your life.

You spend more time with them , i have no objection at all.

True enough they are.

But , you should always remember that you told me things. 

Things like , i changed alot because of you , you are the main thing in my life , etc , etc !

Yes , i am hurt. You left so many scars on my heart.

Maybe , soon you're gonna break it , smash them to pieces?

Who knows?

But , you promised me you won't. and i'm still living in that statement.

Everyday , life goes on , because of that one promise.

Just because , 

Dharshnee

Guilt

Guilt?

The best punishment you can ever give.

How much can you take the guilt?

Change larh. After being felt the guilty-ness , please change?

I can't take the guilty feeling anymore.

Im being so pressured ! SO MUCH !

im a girl larh , i can't just give in all the time.

You have to change.

You try giving in , you will get the feeling. 

I can promise you one thing , understand me and i will understand you !

Hope . Prayy . Lovee .

#PeaceOut 

Just because , 

Dharshnee

All about you? Think again !

I don't get you sometimes. Do you really have to be this mean?

I don't want to hang on the phone with you 24/7 ! I'm angry with the way you treat me

Why don't YOU understand?

Put the blame on me , do all you want. 

Im not bothered. 

You can't cope with me? then let's just end this.

I hope you'll be happy.

I don't want to live a dead man's life.

Im done with shits around me. 

I don't ask for much.

All I need is , an inch of your love.

Show it to me.

How would you tell a kid that stars only come out at night? You show it to them , don't you?

It's the same way. 

Once in awhile , you have to show your love and appreciate the love given to you.

Gahhhhh ! 

but , you're just a guy. you will never understand.

Just because , 

Dharshnee